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Public Diary: Saturday

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Dear Public Diary,

While i am writing this i’m just imagining myself on a long vacation with a clear blue sea view, with a delicious alcohol beverage in my hand, while listening to the nature. When i see other people traveling around the world, it definitely gets to me, but i know one day ill be in the position to travel the world. My life is boring and i thought i picked the wrong time of age to start spicing my life up, but i am 27, 27 isn’t old at all. I literally strive everyday of the week with no thoughts of giving up. I have a strong imagination, but i am dedicated for a better lifestyle. I literally came from the bottom, and still not at the top, but one thing i can say is i know the meaning of [STRUGGLE]. I know how it feels to have $0 in my wallet and bank account. I know how it feels to eat a bowl of cereal for dinner, and not by choice. I know how it feels to have no hot water, because the gas bill couldn’t get paid. It is the most terrible and horrifying feeling to go through. I definitely didn’t have to go through some of the things i have been through, but i am not the type of person to ask for sympathy or who seek for sorrow. My pride has always been on a high level, I have always been the type of person who would rather deal with a situation i put myself in. Sometimes i still cry or feel down, thinking of the things i have been through in my life. Sometimes i think to much, I guess that is just my anxiety bothering me, maybe, idk… What i do know is, I still have some kind of stress that haven’t left. I thought i didn’t but today i been thinking hard and it’s true. I have certain things in my life that is still bothering me. Far as, my job/my pay, where i currently live, my car problems, family issues, and just so much. Keeping faith is my #1 priority, but sometimes it’s hard to stay positive when everything isn’t all put together like how you imagine it to be. At times, I do want to give up, although i know for an fact i wouldn’t, but its just the thoughts i have in my head. I said before, I AM A FUCK UP! Yes it’s true. One minute i can have things going so smooth, then BOOM!. I destroyed myself all over again. Hey, sometimes i can’t even ask myself or even give myself answers on my actions. What i can say about myself, is that i use my past as a lesson learned, and i inspire others, men and women. Even when i still fall apart, I can still uplift others, and give them the best advice ever. I truly can say that i pushed people to a better direction in life. Now that i see that i am inspiring others, it pushes me to keep being the best inspiration to others because one day i will get blessed. They say what you do good for others, will eventually come back to you. My goal all 2018 is to build my way up, Love myself more + others, Encourage, Drama-free and keep inspiring others.

Faith + Positive= Prosperous “in the long run”.

                              XoXo –Seqouiab Blogs…

Diary

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