Hello you guys! Today I wrote this blog because I decided to be a little more expressive about my life, and be more open to all my readers :). I wanted to talk about how my life been up and down The past couple years. So let’s see, not just 2018, the past couple years has been a tough journey. I can’t even put on an act as if i am the happiest woman alive because i admit i am not. The struggles, the stress, the pain, depression, anxiety, loses, going broke, struggling, in debt, weight gain, and i can go on.
At first i didn’t believe in failure, and i definitely wasn’t a firm believer. I was the type of person that always thought negative and didn’t believe in happiness. I was angry, i was bitter, i was miserable, and i didn’t want to believe in myself. I’m not sure if it was relationship problems, family problems, or the people i associate and be around that made me such a wreck but i do know that life itself put you through multiple challenges. We are getting challenged everyday, but i failed to realize that. I felt that everything was suppose to be right at all times, and if it wasn’t right and i fail, i would be hurt. But that’s not how it suppose to go or how it suppose to be. Of course i knew that, but like i said i wasn’t a believer. I should of trusted the process i have worked so hard to get through.
As the year start moving so fast, i started to question myself on my actions.
“Why am angry?” “Am i going to continue to live this way?” “Why am i still stuck in the past?” “Why am i in this dark hole?”
Then i began to start expressive writing again. When i say expressive writing, i pretty much mean i’m expressing myself by writing it out. When i write out my problems and my issues it use to always make me feel better, so i decided to do it again. Did it work? Yes indeed, may not be 100% that it worked all the way but i can truly say that at that time writing helped me be a much positive thinker and believer about 80% of the time.
So, i slowed down blogging for a really good reason, I STUDIED BLOGGING. For two months straight i did my research on blogging. I got all the details, learned about different topics, got ideas on having a niche from other bloggers, read up on a lot of “how to’s”, bought books and guides on blogging, and so much more. When i started back blogging i decided to spice my blog life up a little better. I made a really good article that had over 8,000 views, man i was thrilled. From there, i just kept writing good blogs, and began to start receiving a lot of emails from my readers and companies. So now that i had my blogging down pack, something was still off. I had no SUPPORT. Yes, no support at all. No one reached out to me and asked if i wanted them to share any of my blogs, and also never got a quick question on what i blog about, it was like no one showed me no kind of support or interest.
Far as me blogging, 8 months ago my blogs were “OK”, but now i grew so much as a blogger/writer it makes me want to cry. I remember i couldn’t get not 1 view, now i am getting more views, and getting noticed by more people. That has been a blessing, and i still have a long way to go, and still need a lot more people to visit me. It was times i would publish blogs once a month because i started losing faith in my writing as well, I started to feel that maybe writing was just best being private no matter how much i enjoy it. It takes hard work in dedication to stay positive in your line of interest, and me? i was losing interest.
“Sometimes I feel free, sometimes I feel trapped, sometimes I feel lost, sometimes I feel wrapped, but as the day go by I still realized that I am blessed and now I know that. All the pain I have endured, and all the sick/lost nights, I still fight to be the best woman I never thought I can be. Belief is what is important. Trust your instincts and don’t act on them just move forward, and I did.”-SeqouiaB
I can’t use the saying “When i smile i cover up my pain”, i actually showed my pain. I use to always be frowned up you can see the pain in my face. I was a very angry person, and i am definitely glad that i am becoming strong enough to focus on my happiness, and work on “ME”. I can say today at this moment, I am in a happier place then ever. I still have my moments, but i am doing much better with coping with my personal issues, and not showing them when i am going through things.
I just want to let everyone know if you are going through any kind of issues, it’s going to be fine. Find something you enjoy doing and that makes you happy. Sometimes we need to just block out our problems and do something that keeps your mind on a much positive level. Don’t let nothing interfere in nothing positive you are trying to do for yourself. Find your self love, work on your energy you bring around others, accept your past, and know that CHANGE is possible and BELIEVE in it!
I definitely recommend, expressive writing to any of my readers who suffer from any kind of pain, and mental health. Writing cures the mind, body, and soul, and make you feel so much better. Sometimes venting by writing is much better than venting to people, because you never know who might judge you or say any negative feedback. Express through writing, and later down the line you can see the change in your mental health, and how much better you have got from stressing and being happy.
Anyways my loves, wrapping this blog up. Enjoyed this blog? more expressive writing is coming. Hope all is well….. Please contact me for any concerns. Follow me on my social media which you can find on my page.
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